Tamar

The story of Tamar is what soap operas are made of. This is one of those stories in the Bible, where you think, “That is in the Bible!” Tamar’s story doesn’t start off crazy. When we first meet her she is just the woman who became the wife of Judah’s oldest son, Er. Er wasn’t a good guy and God put him to death because of this. Now Tamar is a widow. Judah had another son, Onan. It was customary for the next brother to marry what would be his sister-in-law in order to produce an heir for his older brother. Onan didn’t want to produce a child for his brother cause he knew that it would not be considered his child. So, when Onan slept with Tamar he “spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother” (Gen. 38:9.) God wasn’t pleased by Onan’s actions and he was killed as well. Judah had one more son, Shelah, but he was too young still to take Tamar as his wife. Judah was also reluctant to give his third son to Tamar as a spouse, considering what happened to his other two sons.

Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.   Genesis 38:11 

After a long time Tamar was still living as widow in her father’s house. She knew that Judah had not fulfilled his work and given his third son, Shelah, as a spouse for Tamar. Tamar then took matters into her own hands and devised a plan to get back at Judah.

When Tamar learned that Judah would be passing through the area around when she was living, she disguised herself so that Judah would not know who she was and set out to trick him. Her plan worked! Judah thought that she was a prostitute and propositioned her.

When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.” “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked. “I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he said. “Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?” she asked. He said, “What pledge should I give you?” “Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him.  Gen. 38:15-18

Tamar and Judah then went their separate ways. She put her widow’s clothes back on and he returned to his home. He then sent his friend to deliver the goat that he had arranged as payment for sleeping with who he thought was a prostitute. When his friend got to the area where the “prostitute” had been there was no prostitute to be found. He asked the men that lived around there, they told him there hadn’t been a prostitute there. So, he returned to Judah and told him that he couldn’t find her. Judah didn’t want to be made a laughingstock so he didn’t pursue finding the woman to give her the goat and retrieve the items that he had left as collateral.

Around three months later Judah was told that Tamar was guilty of prostitution and that she was now pregnant because of it. Judah’s response was to have Tamar burned to death because of her actions. Tamar was one step ahead of him though because she still had the items that he had given to her.

As she was being brought out, she sent a message to he father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,” she said. And she added, “See it you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.”  Gen. 38:25

Judah recognized them alright. He declared that she was more righteous than he was because he had not fulfilled his word and given his son to her. Tamar’s life was spared and she later gave birth to twin boys, Perez and Zerah.

I have heard this story talked about a few times. It always seems like Tamar is made out to be the righteous one in the story and Judah is the bad guy. I don’t see it that way. When I read this story I see it in a differently. I think it is more of a story of “two wrongs don’t make a right.” Judah was guilty of not fulfilling his word to Tamar. Tamar was guilty of deceiving Judah and prostitution. They were both at fault in the situation. What is amazing though is that God can take two wrongs and make a right.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.  Rom. 8:28a

Only God can take our mistakes and turn them into something good. We are still responsible for the wrong that we do, this doesn’t give us an out for our sin. God made good out the situation with Tamar and Judah. Their son, Perez, was a part of the genealogy of Jesus. That seems like good coming out of bad to me.